11 Sexy Last Minute Halloween Costume Ideas for Swole Bros

Traditionally, sexy costumes have been thought of as a more female-centric thing, but sometimes guys, too, like to be ogled. And there's no better excuse to squeeze the last remaining moments of objectification out of your summer bod than to parade around half-naked on a cold night in late autumn in service of a kid's holiday. Still, what's the point of eating paleo and doing Crossfit if you aren't going to show everyone the fruits of your labor? So, herewith, the best sexy costumes for guys to wear this year.

Tongan Flag Bearer

Pita Nikolas Taufatofua became the star of the 2016 Olympics before they even began. Serving as flag bearer for his native Tonga, the taekwondo competitor turned up in traditional garb and the oiliest torso seen on TV since Flipper and the rest was history.

What You'll Need: One big-ass Tongan flag, a chest waxing appointment, two bottles of baby oil, a lack of interpersonal contact (for their sake).

Abercrombie & Fitch Store Greeter

There's no better way to show off your hard-earned toned physique than to channel your inner teen mall employee and pose as one of the inexplicably shirtless Abercrombie & Fitch store greeters. What exactly was their job? Who can say?

What You'll Need: A pair of artfully-but-not-quite-believably distressed denim, some leather flip-flops, puka shell necklace. Optional: an anorak or hoodie (completely open, naturally).

Anyone From Magic Mike XXL

Have you been putting in overtime at the gym? Then stripper is the costume for you. Luckily there's a hit movie that can help you make it slightly more acceptable. And if you have a swole bro wolf pack, than this might just be the perfect group costume for you.

What You'll Need: Shirt collar (sans actual shirt), neck tie, pants, the complete absence of body hair.

King Leonidas from 300

A decade on, and 300 is still holding strong as the go-to sexy man costume. And we get it: it's relatively easy and most people will know what you're going for (and if not, at least that you're some type of old-timey warrior)

What You'll Need: Helmet, red wool blanket (as cape), CGI-enhanced six-pack.

Justin Bieber's Wax Mannequin

If you're toned but not ripped, Bieber—or his waxy facsimile—is a great way to justify a night of shirtless debauchery—and, depending on your level of commitment, douchery.

What You'll Need: Bandanna, three T-shirt layers, baggy shorts, the worst temporary tattoos you can find, a spritz bottle for that just-rained-on look all night long.

A David Beckham H&M Ad

This is just an excuse to walk around in your underwear for a night.

What You'll Need: Underwear.

Tarzan, the Alexander Skarsgård Version

Does your cardio routine include parkour? Are you built like a Nordic god? Have you been doing nothing but sit-ups since last Halloween? Great, then you're all set for this costume.

What You'll Need: Blond wig, khakis.

A Cat from the Musical Cats

If you're feeling like showing off your body but not strut around actually half-naked, this costume is the perfect solution. The actors in the musical Cats sheath their shredded bodies in second skin leotards, which are like green man costumes, just not as, uh, revealing.

What You'll Need: Cat ears, a body stocking, face paint, an Andy Serkis-like ability to mimic quadrupedal animals.

Rob Gronkowski's GQ Spread

Gronk might be the best costume choice for any swole bro out there because there are so many options of how to execute it. You could go as gameday Gronk in a Pats uniform. You could go as party cruise Gronk. Or, you could go as Gronk from his epic GQ photo shoot. We'd suggest the latter.

What You'll Need: A Versace bathrobe, a Speedo, pool slides, at least four tallboy Monster energy drinks.

Dead-But-Soon-To-Be-Alive-Again Jon Snow

If you haven't seen the sun in a few months and have spent that time growing a beard, then might we suggest going as Game of Thrones fans' favorite undead hero?

What You'll Need: Fake stab wounds from your traitorous colleagues, a dishtowel for your privates, the best flowing black wig money can buy.

Naked Orlando Bloom Paddle-boarding With Katy Perry

If you're looking to channel one of the more zeitgeist-y moments of the year—or you're an exhibitionist—here's your chance.

What You'll Need: A paddle board ... and a lot of courage.

Up Next: How to Have a Non-Racist Halloween Costume

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